yukiey2005484

much love xx

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Last Night by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Last Night

last night i was 2 weeks clean; maybe it was 3. last night i was so upset i was in dire need to hurt myself. last night i was so angry i took blades and stroked them against my skin. last night was the night i felt the pain from taking eleven pills the night before. last night was me crying on the floor, pouring my heart out to my girlfriend. last night was me telling my parents 'fuck you'. last night was when i gave up. last night it all hurt too much.

Thoughts of Us by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Thoughts of Us

I live for you and I live for us. I live for just the thought of you and I being together in the future and for the thought of you saying I love you. Just so I could hear you call me yours one last time. Keep me forever, tell me you want me and tell me you always will. Tell me you own me and you'll never let go of me. I love you more than you'll ever be able to imagine and I fall in love with you more and more everyday. I was sat at my piano and I just cried and I kept asking myself questions that had obvious answers. What if I took more pills? What if I did die? What if I never woke up? I promised I’d never leave yo

Attention by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Attention

I know you want the best for me. I know you care about me. I know you love me. I was defying everything you asked of me because I wanted to make you worry, I wanted your attention. It sounds bad but I would do absolutely anything to get your attention. I only started taking those pills to numb the pain of not having you here; knowing there was a slight chance you might never actually want me, killed me. I only cut my legs when I wasn't sober because I wanted to feel something physical, something more than the emotional loss I was feeling then; the emotional loss I'm feeling now. I would do anything to get your attention; good or bad. Eve

Was it love? by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Was it love?

I loved you in every possible way. You loved someone else and I couldn’t handle that. I freaked out. Everyone saw me break. Everyone knew it was your fault I was slipping. How could you lie to me and say you were real? You left me right after. I was in ruins while you were standing tall. It was your ghost that made me hate myself. Or was it just you? Your friends made fun of me, you did too. I thought that love was something you just knew. That’s not the truth. Love is happiness, trust, want. Wanting to talk to them all the time. Did I love you? Well, I wouldn’t know. You didn’t feel the same way back so it was con

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Last Night by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Last Night

Thoughts of Us by yukiey2005484, literature

Literature

Thoughts of Us

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Depersonalization by Elendurwen, literature

Literature

Depersonalization

It has oxygen Flowing through its veins It has fingers wired To enact its purpose It has eyes that chase Its poor sub-reality It observes itself Observing the world It exists In a vacuum of attention In a sterile realm of Second-hand experience If I cut it Will I bleed? If I hurt it Will I feel? It is information Organized to action Atoms into flesh Flesh into a body If I wake it Will I realize? If I break it Will I become whole? It is prison For my self-illusion A tormentor of My synthetic soul

When I Disappear by Elendurwen, literature

Literature

When I Disappear

Everything is void And the void is but me The mind's sense of reality Is a naive fabrication There's no meaning In this land of make-believe In its hollow stones There is no purpose The all-defying Rules of relativity The all-defining Sickness of untruth A cold fatigue Takes hold of my body A free fall - There should be no I A downfall - Who is the one feeling When even this loneliness Is a mere delusion? Why exist at all If existence is infinite A monstrous complexity Beyond comprehension Why keep breathing When it's simply energy Moving in and out Pulsing through, transformed But in essence all the same?

Switched Off by Elendurwen, literature

Literature

Switched Off

I switch off Myself to perceive I turn off The simulated living Reconditioned I can smell the present now I can taste it As it's slowly Crawling through I switch off The echoes of the past The screaming of all future Impossibilities No restraints My eyes are open wide Every photon On their surface A world to explore And there is no Superficial separation And there is no Fear of the unknown I turn off Myself to terminate The conscious isolation Of the evolved mind I switch off The innate tunnel vision The chemical delusion Of purposeful control

like water by wordturner, literature

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About yukiey2005484

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Artist // Student // Literature

Jan 12
United States
Deviant for 13 years
www.twitter.com/frootsandjewels
She / Her

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Current Residence: California
Grade: Twelfth
Future Plans: Aspiring Songwriter / Performer (Singer)
Favorite Book: Lolita
Favorite Color: Lilac & Violet
Personal Quote: Be the change you want to see in the world.

Favourite Visual Artist

Keegan Allen

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N/A

Favourite TV Shows

Pretty Little Liars

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Marina and the Diamonds, Lana Del Rey, Dodie Clark, Charli XCX

Favourite Books

Lolita

Favourite Writers

John Green, Harper Lee, and Sara Shepard

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N/A

Favourite Gaming Platform

iPhone 6s

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yukiey2005484

Jan 22, 2017

A new poem has been posted ((:

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yukiey2005484

Nov 21, 2016

i just posted a new poem! love you guys

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yukiey2005484

Oct 24, 2016

Switching up my account

0 min read

i think i've come to a decision. i was going to just leave this account and do absolutely nothing with it or even possibly deactivate but now i feel very nostalgic, so i'm going to delete all of my artwork and start posting poetry and maybe some photography. i probably won't be super active or keep up with comments or anything, i just want to post some stuff again, some stuff that relates to me now and things i'll be able to appreciate in a few years. i hope i can reconnect with some of you.                                                                                                      much love,                                      

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Profile Comments 2.2K

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birthdays

Jan 13, 2019

!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

It's January 12^th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team